Uniting Husbands and Wives

In my earlier post titled Effective Children/Family Ministry I outlined how a successful Children's ministry might look . . . Here is a deeper look into my thoughts on Point A "Uniting Husbands and Wives." Please note that I nor my wife are by any means experts, we just know that there are specific things that we need to keep our marriage going and these are our experiences and thoughts.

Recently, Rose, myself and some of our friends have been working through some scripture in Ephesians chapter 5. We always joke about that scary term "SUBMIT." I always joke that the conversation heart people should keep the usual "hug me," "kiss me," "text me," "love," but add a new heart that states "wives submit." PLEASE NOTE I SAID JOKE!! The reason I emphasize this joke is because my wife always reminds me that I should love her as Christ loved, the church with includes my tithe (10% of income in HER pocket). . .again a joke. We laugh about this all the time, but when we started this study our eyes, minds, and hearts really became focused on Eph. ch. 5 v. 21 "be subject to one another in the fear of Christ." (NASB) the NIV states "SUBMIT to to one another out of reverence for Christ." WOW the S word again!!

J. Mac talks about the power struggle that husbands and wives have and dates all the way back to the Garden. This very "curse" as J. Mac calls it, causes us to think all out of order. What I have realized is that I need to be submissive to my wife and she to me. At the alter we gave our relationship up to God and now we need to give ourselves up to one another as well. As much as I want to do what I want to, I have to remember that my God and my wife come first. This is why Grace is so amazing. Because if you know me, even just a little bit, I am no way perfect, nor is my wife (SHOCKING ISN'T IT!!) Grace from God is the dearest of all things; but grace from my wife is pretty amazing too.

God calls us as husbands and wives to seek Him and serve each other. The only way we can get better at this is by (Point A1 in Post #1) :

1. Daily Prayer/Reflection/Study together (even for just 10 min)
Again, by no means are Rose and I perfect in this but when we sit down together and just discuss and study what the Bible says, we get on the same page. Husbands and wives must be on the same page to lead a family. Of course, leading a family cannot be accomplished without prayer and the power of God! Lastly, we must reflect upon our own actions to see if they are sticking to what God called us to do and seek that grace from God and our spouse if we wronged them. NOTE TO HUSBANDS: Discuss with your wife, do not preach, even if you are a pastor. This will cause WWIII.

We also need to have some fun and laugh, though. So that brings us to point A2 in Post #1:

2. Weekly or Bi-Weekly Date nights (fun times one-on-one) With kids this often is trouble some but if you don't do it your relationship is going to be "all work and no play!!" We all know that makes Jack a very dull boy! Finding other couples craving this time works out perfectly because you can watch their kids one week and they watch yours the next. Every 2 weeks you will be able to connect with your spouse and serve another family. WIN-WIN, DING-DING!!

Finally I would like to dissect this topic by focusing on point A3 on Post #1

3. Communication and Understanding of your Spouse . . . I will be honest here, I don't always understand why my wife does things (Again SHOCK!!). In turn, she doesn't understand why I do things (DOUBLE SHOCK!). . . That is why we need to learn to communicate. I do have to admit it is a learned behavior we need to speak to other couples about how they work things out and be taught by those who have made it a long time in their marriage. Our small group and trinity class at the Bridge have brought us to others seeking successful marriages and we have been taught and reminded by a neutral party what we are supposed to do. No marriage will succeed unless we have these communities of Biblical teaching support, fellowship, and prayer. WE ALL NEED IT!

Why is this important to Children's Ministry, you say. Well, that is simple . . . parents are the greatest role model they will ever have. They see the good the bad and the ugly, and how you handle it. "Be careful little eyes what you see and hear." We need our Children to see God's Commands, God's Love, and God's Grace. Not a word needs to be lectured to the child . . . we show these things by what we do.